Continuum

I am wrestling with my mind

as she pulls me in one direction

opening scenes of destruction

while calling me to its opposite end

invoking peace and reconciliation

I am wrestling with the questions

that pop up like bubbles in water

coming up to the surface questioning

the meaning of greed and suffering

causing tears in the eyes of so many

I am wrestling with my feelings 

as the jump off a cliff taking

my heart along for the ride

while I keep calling myself back

into the breath that calms me

I wrestle with the impending 

forces warring within me

about the meaning of creation

and the path of destruction

in human history 

I wrestle with the question

if there a way to hold 

a spiritual myth big enough

to contain the continuum 

residing in existence itself 

So I pray, I chant

I dance my prayers

crying for the pain of the whole

always held by the trust 

that we are not alone

that we are loved

May we be all held in trust

May we all be loved

May we all know

that we are not alone

This is my prayer 

 

Washington July 2021

I must write

to you

I ask

what is on my heart

since my mind is vacant

I am chasing thoughts

unable to catch them

before they disappear

around the corner

I see

and empty grieving mind

is not free, just frozen, images

scattered rusty leaves

aimlessly floating

behind my eyes, as I sit

staring into space

I watch

my wandering thoughts

walking down corridors

of a now foreign airport

filled with tired travelers

weary of each other

shielded by vacant stares

I feel

boarding a plane today

grief tearing down

the refuge of isolation

signaling the poignant loss

of the innocent reality

of coming home to his love

I miss

knowing my father 

will not be home

when I return, to ask me

"alors on the voit quand?"

in his need to have me close

and feel his world complete

I sense

I am afraid of the melancholic

nostalgia of his nearness

stretching over the years

as I have yet to live on my own

traveling the human world

absent of his tenderness

I trust 

that in the meantime

I will find him

swimming in the ocean

dancing under the vault 

of starry night skies

with trusting abandon

Daddy

I´ll miss you as I move on

holding memories past and present

aligning the arch of time

for us to meet again

in the eternal breath of time

uniting all that we ultimately are 

 

I hear words free flowing inside my head, drawn by currents of thoughts that are contrasting, opposing, conflicted. They wrestle inside me for days until they are ready to come through, my skin prickles, my heart rate increases and I sit before you.

They are ready.

My mind fluctuates between sorrow for the price that is paid by so many who are unprotected, in denial, resistant, exposed, vulnerable, misinformed, obliged to stand in the forefront of this tidal wave that ruthlessly rips away the mantles of illusion that we hold dear, that we are in control, that we could live in a world free from suffering, that we exist as islands, separate from the whole.

If you hurt, I hurt. If we hurt, everybody hurts.

These is so much suffering surfacing through the layers of our consciousness, old fears of monsters awaiting in childhood closets, dangers lurking in the shadows, a suspense that makes us hold our breath when we think of a future unknown. We thread carefully along the pathways of loneliness and isolation whether we live alone or are negotiating a space shared with others. Our humanity, my humanity, is interwoven with historical grief and suffering.

Some mornings, after a restless night, as I rise with an uncertain breath, steadying myself for another day of this life, the only one there is, I begin to move with a weary heart and a silent soul asking for guidance, inspiration and calm.

These thoughts raise tension and battles inside me when I feel a gratitude so deep it makes my heart weep; to have a home, to be able to continue to work, to learn how to make bread, to write or sculpt, as I hold myself still.

Saying yes to the battlefield alive inside me is saying yes to streams of hope, confidence and trust that we will find our communal way through these times, and open myself to moments of fury, of unconsolable despair, fear and regret. It is the willingness to say yes to death in all its forms and expressions, trusting the rebirth of Life in a new way.

In gestures so inherent to my everyday living I continuously bring my hands to rest on my body, allowing the graceful energy of Reiki to soothe and quieten my grief, fear and worry. I often bring my hands together holding the ones I love and who ask for my company from afar.

I found in the making of this sculpture a way to express my grief of loss and love that continues to unveil the miraculous delicacy of deep affection and devotion. She accompanies me in my daily practice.

May we all hold the powerful grace of paradox lightly, generously and courageously, as we witness the birthing of a new era.

New Wind

There is a spectacle out my window

the wind rises, fiercely grabbing every branch intent on testing its capacity to writhe,

leaves stubbornly holding on, showing their underside like schools of trout flashing scales mirroring the light of the rising moon

The wind extends its reach towards me, long fingers winding around crevices,

usurping nooks and filling crannies, composing high pitched tunes of wistful melodies

about empty cracks and lost spaces, lone wolves howling finding their way up the back stairs

and slipping in under my door, curling at my feet.

I listen to the call, feeling the ripples this lament brings

stirring my heart with lyrics of passion and heartbreak,

igniting the recesses of my mind, sparking lanterns

in the labyrinths of the complex world we inhabit.

I find myself praying “let all this be meaningful,

may we remember to cradle, give breath and foster

the living gift this pause is offering in the making of a better world”.

I am held by my roots, feeling the sap rising-up my spine

flowing out into my limbs, ready to withstand the swing and pull of standing tall

as I look out my window to life and death, night and day, here and there, love and hate,

you and me, within and without, us and them, truth and lies, fear and trust,

rest and sleeplessness, tears and laughter, prayer and blissful stillness.

Everyday.

I greet the soulful tunes coursing through the veins of the choices I make,

the tenderness for the ones I love,

the thoughts I let in amongst the onslaught of change shaking my bones,

showing the soft underbelly of trust, claiming patience,

discernment and kindness as we prepare for an unknown partnership

we have yet to meet.

The wind has gone, all is silent now

I am resting knowing tomorrow

I will be called again until it is time

to show up.

As times passes we look back

into the life that was

looking for keys

that no longer sing

the familiar tunes of

the melody we once knew

As times passes we breathe

beneath layers

of woven fabric

releasing humid fibers

obstructing the intricacy

of sacred air passages

As times passes we feel

between our ribs

unknown heartbeats

erratically marking time

beneath the wings

of our collarbone

As time passes our brain rattles

deciphering mysteries

of an unknown so vast

it encompasses nightmares

of a voracious organism

hiding in a persons´ breath

As time passes the delicacy

of our nervous system

adapts to the imperious

call to extend its sensitive

tentacles gathering data

about new forms of being

As time passes

we unveil untouched fields

of stubborn adaptability

curbed frustration becomes

ever renewed determination

to preserve Life

Time passes as sand

between our fingers

we loose track forgetting

the maps we once drew

now called to stillness

as we become, better.

 I shiver to the radiance of translucent skin

When rays shine upon it

veins spreading like wings taking flight

reaching out to bring life at its own pace

fuzzy tendrils reaching towards the morning sun

inciting growth to extend as far as possible

in its incessant quest to radiate

the unique potential it contains

I also see the other end, when the skin

becomes translucent as life retreats

deep into the bones of such frailty

that veins come to the surface

of a skin as thin as the most delicate petals

announcing the end of a journey well lived

I see the ache in the tides of the nature of Love

permeating every living thing

 In the name of my father

1927 - 2021

With you I learned about Love

I learned to love the sanctuary of your profound silence

I loved whispering in your ear words only meant for you

I loved holding hands while watching golf tournaments, on mute

I loved watching you admiring squirrels zoom on the edge of the balcony

I loved seeing you eating mom´s shortbread cookies as if they were chips

With you I learned about patience and focus

Your hands repaired anything that was broken and needed fixing

So many tools, bolts, screws of all sizes, cords carefully categorized

How I loved opening drawers neatly organized, knowing where things were

The sewing box next to you on the couch while you stitched ripped clothes

Gave us all a sense of safety that brokenness could be mended

With you I learned about kindness and generosity

I could always approach you and speak my mind and my heart, fearlessly

You gave us space, Denis and I reading comics, while you read your paper before school

Teaching us to practice the sports you loved with fierce determination

Always open to greet our friends and host them, playing cards and badminton with us

You are the most generous, affectionate, gentlest grandfather to my daughters and the little ones

With you I learned about the power of sheer stubbornness

Your will to be self-sufficient and master the movements of an aging body

Pushing back against the unyielding strain of a slow decline

I am witness to the times you diminished the pain of so many falls

Only to comfort and reassure the ones around you that all was well

Denying the herald of a time when you would leave your wife and family behind

Now rest dear father of mine for your journey has moved on

May your flight be unencumbered, open to the spaciousness of mobility

I imagine you, as you once told me a cherished memory,

You, ecstatically dancing under water in the mists of a squad of stingrays

May the joy to be free from suffering always be with you

You are forever in me, the ones that love you and the ones you loved

Until we meet again

Your loving daughter

 

Father´s Day

June 20th 2021

River of Tears

Waves of grief engulf my breath

Tempests of salty tears

Bursting at the seams

Such intensity of loss

My mind is scared

My thoughts scattered

Leaves in the whirling void

Of nothingness

I miss your hands

I miss your quirkiness

I miss murmuring in your ear

I miss holding your hand

I miss hearing about your night

I miss fixing your computer

I miss feeling loved

Unconditionally

I ache for you

The tenderness of your heart

The safety of your presence

The steadiness of your love

I feel gripped by loss

Taking hold of my chest

Immersed in an unknown

I wish I could decipher

For now, I trust there is more

More to come and feel

More to rejoice and celebrate

More to gratefully remember

More than what we are here

Dressed in our human shields

Exposed to the Continuum

of Existence

April 2020

Winds of Fire

I am burning up, there is fire

in the pit of my stomach

And I have yet to know why

it is so hard to be here today

steering this voyage

into a bleak unknown

many reasons can be found

political treachery and grandiosity

embedded social injustice

internalized racial inequity

the rampant violence of greed

depleting a decaying environment

my head pulses under my eyes

I don´t know if I can bear the beat

of the blinding contradictions

and the powerlessness I feel

by a world in decline

exploding at the seams

I feel small in this tidal wave

of chaotic need and call for action

impeded by learning indifference

and buried restrictions of our history

masked by self serving visions and

discourses of self importance

I hear if we choose reassuring beliefs

to be positive and creative

we will manifest a new reality 

and I say yes -- and it is not enough

how can we possibly construct a fair world

before we witness its present dissolution?

Befriending chaos and terror

brought forth by the tearing down

of habitual convenience and tribal thinking

while keeping alive the flame of a fairer future

is what my mind struggles with,

can we hold the spectrum of evolution? 

Writing because I have to

"Writing because I had to" brings memories of my high school years. We had to write dissertations on various subjects and the exigency of was placed on structural skeletons, the elaboration and unfolding of content, robing this experience of any possible pleasure. The focus was placed solely on the grades we got for writing them. 

Many years passed before I came to appreciate this aspect of the French educational system. I still don´t enjoy writing in French, my brain becomes muffled and insecure, interrupting the flow of my writing because I question my grammar, proper conjugation of verbs or orthography. I am mainly concerned about the "right" way of writing, rather than the joy of it. It is sad to realize the long lasting impact of a linear  method of teaching. I joyfully continue to read and speak French, hopefully a time when writing it freely will come. 

I use these skills in other languages, writing mainly in English and Spanish. Writing clears my mind. When I am overwhelmed, upset, exhausted, writing brings me order and calm.  A few years ago I was teaching with a colleague in Russia. We had just ended a challenging course with a group that had experienced intense feelings, with the complexity translation brings, in an environment very foreign to me. Adapting to the food, the facilities, the cultural identity and idiosyncrasies had stretched me.

The last day, just as we ended our workshop and said goodbye and thought "okay now I can relax a bit", I got a message from my daughters. Both wrote that they and my parents were okay but that Mexico city and its surrounding areas had suffered a traumatic earthquake. I felt my heart drop and had only one wish, to be there with them. I still had a few days to go and work before my flight back home.

I took the train to St Petersburg and sat in a lively wagon surrounded by a large group of Turkish travelers. They were amiable, conversing with everyone and sharing delicacies they had prepared with all the other passengers. I still smile remembering them. I sat among them, having an urgent need to write during those hours. I wrote a summary of the experiences and work we had done at the retreat, with observations and insights about how culture determines the framework of our experiences. 

In hindsight writing in the mists of lively chatter, laughter and boisterousness allowed me to keep my mental stability, while knowing Mexico city was in crisis. I was able to hold the internal tension of doing what I needed to do, while aching for the crisis I knew my city was in. I watched the news, read reports, cried over the extraordinarily humane response that came from the citizenship, to support those in need. I continued to write for the rest of my journey. 

Writing supports my mental health and emotional balance, it can be poems, articles for journals and magazines, or my journal. With the passing of time the call to write has become imperious and demanding. I have been encouraged to write a book on many occasions by friends and colleagues and share with others what I practice, experience and come know. 

For years, I pondered on this subject, could I do it? Was it relevant to anyone other than myself?  Could I write a book even without publishing, or was it worth publishing? Was it about ego and self satisfaction? Was there a greater purpose in this? What sort of a book would it be? 

Today all I do is sit and write. I am weaving who I have been and who I have become as a woman, a mother and daughter into a meaningful tapestry. I share stories from 35 years of professional practice to highlight the extraordinary capacity of the human will and valiant spirit, when people decide to embrace their own developmental journey. I am excited, I find I have much to say after all. For now it is about the pleasure of expressing the richness of the written word. 

 

As times passes

As times passes we look back 

into the life that was

looking for keys

that no longer sing

the familiar tunes of

the melody we once knew

As times passes we breathe

beneath layers

of woven fabrics 

releasing humid fibers

obstructing the intricacy

of sacred air passages

As times passes we feel

between our ribs

unknown heartbeats

erratically marking time

beneath the wings

of our collarbone

As time passes our brain rattles

deciphering mysteries 

of an unknown so vast 

it encompasses nightmares 

of a voracious organism

hiding in a persons´ breath

As time passes the delicacy 

of our nervous system

adapts to the imperious 

call to extend its sensitive 

tentacles gathering data 

about new forms of being

As time passes we settle

discovering untouched fields

of stubborn adaptability

curbed frustration becomes

renewed determination

to preserve Life

Time passes as

sand between our fingers

we loose track and loose

the maps we once drew

now called to stillness

as we become, better. 

 

  

  

 

   

 

My Sacred Myth

Sacred Myth – Origin Story

Dearest one, in this story I will tell you about the depth and the vastness of Life itself, with words that are not big enough to hold the wonder and the essence of the Unnamed one, our Beloved Creator.

It is a story that begins with a potential so vast, with a Love so powerful and indescribable that it opened space, a vast pregnant emptiness waiting to become. At first, all this force was contained, imagine it could fit in the tiniest grain of sand, so small that you could not see it with your eyes; and yet sweet soul, you could feel it everywhere, it vibrated and sang, it was so very big inside

Just like you are!

The power of Life remained very still for the longest time, for a whole eternity. Then came the time when it could not be still anymore and the breath of Life ignited its power and it exploded into great showers of light and heat, illuminating the immensity of the universe with millions and millions of planets and stars spiraling into space.

Among the 200 billion galaxies that exist in the universe, there is a galaxy we named the Milky Way, you can it if you look up on very clear nights. Inside it, our wondrous blue planet Earth came to be. It too began as a great ball of fire with volcanos bursting up into the skies, spitting red streaks and huge black clouds shaking energy into matter that became rocks and mountains, valleys, oceans, rivers and lakes. Volcanoes warmed up the earth and gave way to water and life, sparking life force within tiny squiggling micro-organisms, that kept searching and finding their flourishment in a wild natural world. Elements intertwined fostering rhythms, balancing wind, fire, soil, air and water, forming cyclic seasons. Life Giving Breath continued to flow, fostering life as plants and animals came to inhabit forest and skies, oceans and land.

Can you imagine it my sweet little one? Close your eyes and see our vibrant Earth spinning on herself. She is a heavenly dancer keeping tempo, spiraling of the moon, the sun, planets and starts, forever extending her light towards the heavens in her incomparable beauty. She is a life-giving organism, breathing and pulsing in harmony with a heartbeat buried deep within herself, like your ow heart.  She is self-sufficient, whole and perfect, just as you are.

As the essence of All that Is, evolved and expanded, the first man and woman were created and with them came the gift of consciousness, the freedom of choice. We are children of both heaven and earth, flesh and spirit, heart and mind, different yet one and the same.

The quest and wonder of the Eternal Spirit dwells in our physical body, it comes alive at times of love and gratitude, of profound despair and pain. Like volcanoes busting forth, our soul awakens within us a deep longing for communion and belonging, calling us to become who we are meant to be; to grow inward towards the Divine and to reach out to the divinity of each other.

Remember, Life on earth moves in cycles. Sometimes these cycles can be long and slow, while others are shorter and fast. You will find some will be blissful and others will be painful; there will be moments when you know you belong, clearly seeing the meaning and unfolding of your life. Others that will be dark and lead you to despair and confusion.

Practice silence, quiet down, listen, pray, and breathe in and out the essence residing within your being. Find your essence reflected in the eyes of another, in the delicate petals of a flower, in the flight of feathers and fluttering of tails, in the iridescent quiver of scales and fins and the furry warmth of furs. Find yourself reflected in skins of all colors, in every creed, you are boundless and you will find yourself vibrating in the wind and breath of Existence itself.

The human journey is made of both togetherness and aloneness, of unbearable joy and excruciating pain, you will learn to embrace life and death, union and isolation. Seek to find justice and restore the pain left by unfairness, discern the paths of duality and find unity. Look for what is precious to you and recognize the same desire in others, listen and speak from the truth of your heart.

Hold yourself in kindness, befriend all that makes you the person you are, embrace your beauty and your shadow, offer this to the world. Surrender to the mystery held in the reconciliation of your pain, loss, anger and wounded-ness, making peace inside of you. Pray and surrender to the coming together of opposites, fostering communion in your world. This will ensure the future of those coming after you, the future of the world. 

Little one, we are here to develop the capacity to see beyond ourselves, to imagine new worlds, to love and come together, to fight for what is just and reconcile what seems to be at war. We are meant to forever grow and transform, to reach towards our fullest potential and find our place in the world. Know this is just so, remember that you are forever loved in the holy breath of existence. Everything and everyone matters, be especially open and kind to the events and actions you do not understand or approve of. It is good to remember that Life´s mystery is filled with a knowing, so deep, so vast and eternal that we are safely held the tension of Life´s mystery.

Remember to be gentle and kind, take your time to know yourself and others. Be curious, keep your heart open and your mind wide. Breathe the width of life into your cells remembering that you are made of star dust, illuminating the creative consciousness that brought space, sound and movement to all that we know and are.  

You might forget it, or may have trouble finding your way back to your own Godliness, but remember sweet one, that you are never alone, that you are a perfect expression of the Eternal on earth. Remember that you are already enough, filled with endless potential.

Know that The Beloved holds you, and shines through you.

I see it in you

I know it

And so do you.

It seems to me that the pursuit of coherence is heightened by the great paradoxes and apparent opposites of our present world. Knowing about social division and unfairness, the distortion of political interests and extremism, the depredation of nature and the environment, all seem to demonstrate how the systems we are a part of, are deeply compromised. We are continually invited and lured, to watch, listen and read about the innumerables ways must act, respond and commit to if we want human and natural life to subsist in the near future.

A call for discernment, action and mindful reflection. There in an inherent tension that resides in holding a innate desire and longing for beauty, justice, peace, love, connection, the opportunity for growth and development that is contrasted with a reality filled with what seems to be the opposite of these qualities.

We often relate to the chaos born out of conflicting information with confusion, fear and anxiety. We can take thoughtless actions with the sole purpose of avoiding the stress of these feelings, because the spin of our reality goes out further and beyond what we think we can face. We can choose to deny the pain and intensity by avoiding it altogether, because the task of figuring out the layers of the discomfort feels insurmountable. Many of us commit to sustainable actions that often seem to be tiny drops in an ocean of need, yet they offer a sense of meaning and purpose to every action and commitment to support Life.

I believe that we are active participants of the reality we live in, by choice, by ignorance, by leniency, by action and its absence. I know we are powerful creators and the 'truths' we hold have significant impact on our life and the world. I also find that The Great Encompassing Truth exceeds our limited human understanding, it is greater that we are. Making sense and attempting to discern with our mind and heart all the contradictions, the paradoxes and the imbalances of our reality seems to be a task we must relinquish to something greater than ourselves.

The spiritual journey leads us to confront and question our 'truths', what we were taught, what our family and culture value, who we believe we are and are meant to be, and more importantly how this relates to the whole. We need to ask ourselves if our perception of the 'truths' we hold today, is sustainable in our present reality. As we choose to embrace a human and spiritual journey it seems impossible to deny the call to widen our capacity to tolerate discomfort and fear, the sense of loss and despair and the cry for change, they are constant life companions.

Joseph Campbell research on the Power of Myth and The Stages of Faith by James Fowler, have been instrumental in the relief I have felt knowing that, as much as we have a curve of development as humans, we can also develop as a spiritual beings throughout our lifetime. Studying powerful archetypes can significantly add to a sense of congruency and well being in this time of great dissonance, helping us to resist the temptation of separating even more, from what we find overwhelming, threatening, offensive, destructive, unreliable and doomed.

I find that the spiritual 'truths' we picked, practiced and learned throughout our life deserve to be looked at and pondered upon with attentive hearts, minds and spirit. Are they big enough for our present need for coherence? Is our spiritual myth -or sacred story- big and powerful enough to hold the pain of extremes, the rage of injustice, the uncertainty of the future, the fear of death and destruction?Can we find comfort in the intimate prayer we cultivate as we face the unknown? Does it allow us to surrender to greater forces, as we actively seek to live in full presence and mindfulness? I trust it is worth our time to read, research and actively find the meaning and purpose of the spirit of life itself, because we are its embodiment.

This is my choice. To practice the art of surrendering to what is greater than I, while committing to the practice of life. Growing my capacity to tolerate the discomfort I feel as I make the best choices I can along the way. My thought is that we can responsibly develop an intimacy in our spirituality, we can practice it by choosing values, beliefs and actions that are embedded in powerful myths based on an ancient human search for equilibrium of body and soul, light and darkness, faith and despair, war and peace.

I trust we are successful when we are able to co-exist and creatively relate with the most inconvenient feelings and thoughts while finding peace, connection, hope, joy within life as we know it. I envision us developing a spirituality big enough to foster a respectful mutuality, voluntarily including the 'other-ness' of ourselves and the world because there is enough space for it in our comprehension of the spiritual nature of our crazy and beautiful reality.

A human path to spiritual development

As a master, teacher and practitioner of a healing and spiritual practice like Reiki, students, clients, family and friends often ask me what I believe in, what do I turn to in times of need, despair, loneliness and is Reiki the answer to these questions. My experience has shown me that my Reiki practice has opened me to my doubts, to ask questions and challenge what my family, culture have taught me, it has shaken up my ideas about what words like Spiritual and Divinity mean to me.

I have asked myself questions throughout the years; what do I believe in? How do I word the experiences of feeling connected, at one with what I cannot see nor describe? I´ve spent a long time pondering on my desire to understand, follow and cultivate the developmental curve of my spiritual life. I see that we hold restraining ideas or beliefs about what being spiritual is supposed to be, or what a spiritual life should or could look like creating great pain in our desire to belong. I often become exhausted by what our current culture values as spiritual.

This conjuncture of forces places extreme demands and expectations on the way we value or undervalue ourselves. I know many of us are challenged by what we´ve learned, embraced and/or moved away from spiritually, often blindly moving through the journey of the blessings and challenges of our everyday life. On the one hand we have to uphold the upmost positivity, mindfulness, consciousness to be spiritual, and the other has to face the most heart braking separateness and destruction of the sacredness of nature, life and people created by our own flawed human nature.

I wonder what a day to day, 'normal' life infused with a spiritual quality is like. For example do we know how often we internally ask for help without even realizing it? To whom, or to what, do we offer a moment of intense gratitude and joy? How many times do we place ourselves in the mighty power of the Unknown with an inherent trust that it is all we can do, all this without even questioning ourselves?

Is it possible to live our life with a conscious awareness of the spiritual nature of All that Is. Knowing that the essence of Life is imbued in the small and inconsequential encounters, events, places and actions that make up the fabric of our everyday life? Can we allow ourselves to relax in our limited yet powerful human reality, in our desire to be who we are, as we are, willing to let go of the need to be grandiose. Can we willingly sharpen our eyes, ears, touch, hearts and minds to the extraordinary relief of fully enjoying what we are living in the moment!

I choose to believe that this is possible, for us all. Believing that we can use the moments when we feel at one with infinite mystery of existence. We experience it as we savor the flavor and scent of an apple, smile to a stranger and are gifted with the same response, when we are touched by beauty or pain, these can be the touchstones of a spiritual life. They enables us to face and respond to the restrictions and potential of our human, flawed and deeply spiritual nature.

What is it about the idea of succeeding and manifesting what we have called, longed and worked for, that creates such tension? 

It seems that at the very moment a part of us says "Yes" to a creative impulse, a restraining force of the same intensity says "yes but, what if, maybe...". Many us shy away from this unavoidable and necessary tension, because somewhere, somehow, we have been led to believe that if something is "meant to be", it should be effortless and free from restraints. 

When I visited the desert in Arizona I stood in awe in a desert populated by Saguaros evoking in my mind scenes played out by mythical Gods, their arms raised up the heavens, pointing a direction out into the horizon. They live up to 200 years, in extremely adverse conditions, growing only 1 to 1.5 inches  in the first 8 to 10 years of their life, it may take 45 years for them to grow an arm and they can reach up to be 70 feet tall; gathering rain water around their very shallow roots and storing this precious resource for times of drought and extreme conditions. They seemed to be thriving and blossoming under the scorching sun, creating life and homes for innumerable life forms. 

I hold this memory as a story of success because, through the Saguaro, Life found a way to balance and create a way to reconcile what seemed to initially be a place of contradicting and opposing conditions. An extraordinary plant adjusting and thriving in places of heat and drought.

Can we hold the same commitment for our personal, professional and existential success? Can we allow for the tension to be part of this process, viewing it as the necessary condition for our potential to blossom? Can we welcome surrendering to the restraints, and hold the faith needed to believe that we can further our world and lives, envisioning the reconciliation of these opposing forces, as the potential of coherence held in our collective unfolding? 

I like to think so. 

Life balance

Most of us have an image of what it means to live a balanced life. We know how valuable it is to have a healthy diet, to sleep enough, to exercise, to have loving, vital interpersonal relationships, to have hobbies, meditate or have some other discipline to quiet the mind.

We know this is the counterpart we need to balance the tension that stems from the demands of a work environment that never seems to end, a schedule where there is 'never enough time', of having to meet the demands of family duties, and the natural restrictions inherent to living in a place like Mexico City.

In my practice I often hear my patients say that they intuitively know what they 'should do' to feel better, but it seems too complicated to achieve. For example, cooking and taking home-cooked meals to work, sleeping more, reading or exercising, connecting and communicating with loved ones, turning off the television, not spending hours on social media.

What are the signs that tell us we need change in our life? Physical ailments or emotions that are hard to handle and communicate. It can also be feelings of oppression, anxiety, insomnia, irritability and depression. It can come up as tension and conflict in the couple, family or work relationships. In general, there is a sense of weariness, isolation and lack of meaning.

It is important to realize and respond to the messages sent by our body, feelings and thoughts. To live in equilibrium is an individual and dynamic experience, what was balanced yesterday might not be balanced today, because our life is in constant motion. What is true is that we are fully responsible to attend to our needs and hold the delicate alchemy of creating poise in our lives. 

To achieve it we need time and space, even if it is only a few minutes a day. Going inward, meaning 'going home' within ourselves is the way we can acknowledge what is happening to us, get a sense of what creates the tension or unease and unveil what we need. It is here where we can responses to our questions and possible solutions to our lack of balance.

It is not always easy to accept what is not longer valid, face our resistance to change, and the uncertainty residing in new decisions and behaviors. To sustain your process I offer you a simple breathing practice that calms the mind, opens your inner wisdom and observation skills.

Sit in a comfortable position, with your back strait and relaxed. Lightly rest the tip of an index finger at the base of your nose (between your nostrils) and feel a light pressure. If you find your mind wandering, apply a little bit more pressure to help you focus on your breath. Breathe normally, feeling the air going in and out of your nostrils, you will notice how your breath deepens, you might also sigh.

Do this breath for 3 to 5 minutes (at least) morning and evening. It will allow you the 'be home' within yourself as you begin your day and 'return home' before you go to sleep. After some practice you will no longer need to place your finger under your nose. If you are constant, you will see rapid changes and gain clarity about what you need to do to live a more well-adjusted life.