Washington July 2021

I must write

to you

I ask

what is on my heart

since my mind is vacant

I am chasing thoughts

unable to catch them

before they disappear

around the corner

I see

and empty grieving mind

is not free, just frozen, images

scattered rusty leaves

aimlessly floating

behind my eyes, as I sit

staring into space

I watch

my wandering thoughts

walking down corridors

of a now foreign airport

filled with tired travelers

weary of each other

shielded by vacant stares

I feel

boarding a plane today

grief tearing down

the refuge of isolation

signaling the poignant loss

of the innocent reality

of coming home to his love

I miss

knowing my father 

will not be home

when I return, to ask me

"alors on the voit quand?"

in his need to have me close

and feel his world complete

I sense

I am afraid of the melancholic

nostalgia of his nearness

stretching over the years

as I have yet to live on my own

traveling the human world

absent of his tenderness

I trust 

that in the meantime

I will find him

swimming in the ocean

dancing under the vault 

of starry night skies

with trusting abandon

Daddy

I´ll miss you as I move on

holding memories past and present

aligning the arch of time

for us to meet again

in the eternal breath of time

uniting all that we ultimately are